Denial – Diving Into The Five Stages of Grief

You heard the words; you know in your heart that your partner meant them, but you just cannot wrap your mind around the reality of what it all means. Confusion sets in, your mind puts up a wall of protection, and you continue to live your life like it is not about to blow up in your face.

Meanwhile, your partner begins to move on. Your partner begins to prepare for a life without you, perhaps for a life with someone else. They begin to look for a new place to live or prepare to have you leave the family home. The point is, they are making plans while you sit like an ostrich with your head in the sand. It is time to pull your head out of the sand.

Start by asking yourself; Why do I do this?

In my humble opinion, you do it because the pain is too deep, it is too real, it is too much to accept. If you accept this, then life will change, and you will have to feel the pain.

Denial is much easier …  or so you think.

Avoiding pain is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. When your goal is to quickly avoid something that you will eventually have to deal with, you just make the pain worse. You prolong the agony.   

Denial is nice, for a moment or two but if you stay in it, there are long-term effects. The denial of your partner leaving or cheating or whatever behavior they are doing will affect your daily life in many ways. It can distract you from your job or taking care of yourself or your children. This problem needs to be dealt with head-on with truth and honesty. You need to begin to consider your long-term life options and first and foremost, what is best for your children.

So, take a deep breath and have an honest conversation with your partner. Try hard to set your ego aside, even if they cannot.  Do your best to remain calm and do not raise your voice, breathe through the sting of their words.

Denial will only keep you stuck, and you will miss opportunities to repair or make your own plans for your future. So, take a deep breath and tell yourself that you can do this, and move forward.

You can face this. You will be OK, reach out anytime.

With Your Success in Mind,


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