Acceptance - Healing - Vibrations

Finally Free and It’s Time to Say Goodbye.

That’s how I currently feel and why I haven’t blogged for quite some time. I needed to step back from helping others to find their freedom and find my own. It took a minute.

You see, like most others, I did not follow my own advice. I walked backwards, I let him back in, twice. Silly me, I knew better. I knew how it would go and I knew how he would react, how he would be. I knew better but at least I am smart enough to know that three times is a strike out, time to put the bat down for good. For me, time three, was the charm, the straw, the awaking that life can be better than this and the problem was not me. I tried but one can not try alone, not when the other is so broken that they are empty inside. He would tell you it was me and I would agree.

I knew better and I did it anyway, so yes, it’s my fault.

Now, don’t get me wrong the behavior was not my fault but my reaction to it was, but after the first claim of “You’re a liar, a manipulator” coming out of the mouth of someone who lied, sneaked, manipulated me while he cheated on me for 5 years, a person who was living a secret double life. This coming out of the mouth of someone who has lied to me more times than anyone in my life, more times than I can count. I realized that he was taking his own trauma out on me and had been for years.

He came back with his tail between his legs, she turned out to be a goldigger “80% interested in me for my money” is what he claimed. And even though he’s rewrites history, I believe that to be true, even after all I’ve been through. Afterall, when it began, she was married too. Plus, I have read her blog, checked out her socials and yep, imo, she’s shallow as hell. So when he painted a picture that he needed to be saved from her, I believed.

But after coming to grips with the fact that I have a savior complex and it was time to get over it. I finally realized that it surely wasn’t worth sacrificing myself for someone who treated me like crap and always put himself first. With that realization, I planned my escape and I left.

Two months in and while it is an adjustment. as life’s changes always are, I couldn’t be happier. I have my own space where I don’t have to tiptoe around someone else’s ego. No one calls me names or ignores me to chase other women behind my back. No one throws a bowl at me because they can’t control their anger and then blames me for it like somehow, I made them throw that bowl. Perhaps, I am a wizard with secret powers of mind control to make someone behave that way.

Now, I live my life for me. Spent the past two months settling into my new life, healing. Lucky for me that healing brings peace and the realization that it is time to move forward and leave the past laying on the ground. That being said, it is time for me to change my focus and let go of living in a mindset of figuring out the narcisisst’s behavior, looking for healing and even helping others to heal from their toxic relationships. I must let it go so I can move forward in my next and best chapter.

This will be my last life after divorce and healing blog. Going forward, as I focus on my life long love of writing, I will be revamping this site to become my author site. A place to post my poetry and keep my readers informed of my lastest works. Keep watching for those changes as I rebuild and reorganize my life and purpose.

Coming: a fiction based on fact novel, more poetry and even perhaps a saucy novel about a mistress…we shall see!

Thank you all for supporting my coaching business. To the women who have touched my life much more than I have touched theirs, keep going, you got this. Life is beautiful on the other side of toxic abuse, keep putting yourself first.

With YOUR Sucess in Mind,

NOMI