How Do I Break This Trauma Bond?

Trauma bond, you hear about it in the online support groups. Your friend suggested that you may be in one with your ex. You thought it was love that kept you hanging on, but was it? As your friend so bluntly reminded you, “You were miserable and abused in the relationship.”  You know that is true, you felt it every day, you complained to her so don’t be mad when she points it out. 

You know it. That’s not love, it is a trauma bond, love doesn’t hurt you, call you names, and keep you in a situation that is harmful to your mental health and sometimes, overall safety.

Ok, ok, you get it. Now how do you break this bond?

Here are some tips:

  • Recognize and Acknowledge: Understand that you are in a trauma bond. Acknowledging the bond is the first step towards breaking it.
  • Seek Professional Support: A mental health professional can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific situation. They can help you explore the roots of the trauma bond and develop coping strategies.
  • Establish Boundaries: Set clear and healthy boundaries with the person or situation causing the trauma bond. This may involve limiting or cutting off contact, at least temporarily.
  • Self-Care: Focus on self-care practices to prioritize your well-being. This can include activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and a sense of fulfillment.
  • Build a Support System: Surround yourself with friends and family who are understanding and supportive. Having a strong support system can provide emotional reassurance.
  • Educate Yourself: Learn about trauma and its effects. Understanding the dynamics of trauma bonds can empower you to break free.
  • Practice Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Techniques such as mindfulness meditation and grounding exercises can help you stay present and manage overwhelming emotions.
  • Consider Group Therapy: Joining a support group or therapy group can provide a sense of community and shared understanding, allowing you to gain insights and perspectives from others.
  • Explore Your Own Needs and Desires: Reflect on your own needs, desires, and values. Reconnect with your identity outside of the trauma bond.
  • Take Small Steps: Breaking a trauma bond is a gradual process. Celebrate small victories and progress and be patient with yourself.

Remember, healing is a journey, not a sprint, take your time. Process your thoughts and emotions, and plan. Do NOT make impulsive decisions. Make your own choices, and do what you feel is best for you and your family. It is your life. Be Happy. Go no contact and break that trauma bond.

With YOUR Success in Mind,


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