Letting Go: Why Sometimes Closure Isn’t the Answer

Should I Reach Out for Closure?  

It has been some time since you spoke to your ex, but you think about them all the time, remembering the good times and the not so good times too. You know it is over and you want to move on, but you feel you need closure before you can do that. 

Sound familiar?  

Before you hold your ground and state that you deserve them to tell you they are sorry, ask yourself this question. Do I really want closure or am I trying to reopen a communication door just to see what happens, perhaps rekindle something?  

Yes, I am saying that, and you should ask yourself and be honest. When you are in trauma bond and have been no contact for some time, it is easy to remember the good times and to miss them. You forget how abusive they are and how miserable you truly were. The change to a new lifestyle can be a lot to process and the thought of running back to the past can be comforting.  

DON’T DO IT! Be strong, remind yourself how it really was and let that go, let them go.  

Now back to closure. Closure is within. Closure is just accepting what happened, putting it behind you and moving on with your life. The apology that you think you need won’t help you do that, it will only keep you stuck as most of the time, you won’t get it. You’ll only get more abuse.  

The apology you need is the one you give yourself. Apologize to yourself for accepting less than you deserve, for believing when you knew it was a lie, for the breadcrumbs you accepted when you were starving for a meal.  

Learn to accept that how they treated you, the awful things that they said to you, the gaslighting and lying is more about them than it is you. Toxic people project their inner wounds onto others. Period.  

Take a moment and get mad about all that you have been put through and vow to yourself that you will never accept less than you deserve again.  

Set a plan in motion to start a serious healing journey to process your emotions, feelings and thoughts about the toxic relationship you just escaped from. Exercise to release the trauma stored in your body, eat right, do some self-care and spend some time learning about the issues that you are experiencing. Information is power.  

You can do this. Closure is acceptance. Accept and focus on you. What do you want for you?  

With YOUR Success in Mind,  


Closure is the feeling of peace, understanding, and release that comes from accepting the end of a relationship.


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