The five stages of grieving your relationship
The bomb has been dropped, the divorce has been filed, and your marriage has been dismantled. What happens next?
You grieve. Going through a divorce can interfere with the ability to properly grieve the relationship. After it’s done you need to take time to grieve for yourself, your time, and the memories.
Sure, you felt it and had feelings during the divorce process, but those were mostly dismay. How could someone you shared a bed with for 20-plus years treat you like an evil villain? It is hard to understand, especially since your partner is the one who strayed and wanted this to happen, how could you end up painted as the villain?
You say you don’t need to grieve, why would you miss that lying, cheating man? Grieving the relationship doesn’t mean that you still want it, or that you still love him, grieving gives you closure. A clean emotional slate, so before you move on with another, make sure you have taken the time to grieve what once was something good. Jumping into another relationship is not healing, it’s avoiding and it’s not the healthiest healing path, especially if you have children.
When you begin to feel indifferent when you hear your ex’s name, or you see him with the affair partner, or hear of his upcoming marriage, you are healing. When you do the work first and have gone through the stages of grief, you will begin to feel indifferent, and in that indifference is the ability to truly move on, not just because you are forced to by your partner’s choices.
The stages of grieving the end of a relationship:
These stages can come and go, and not in any order. One day you can be willing to accept your fate and the next crying on the bathroom floor. We are all different people with different backgrounds and circumstances, there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Our common bond is that we all go through it.
Information can help, reading online articles such as this one, watching videos, and hearing about the experiences of others can help you not feel alone. Seeking professional assistance from a licensed counselor is a smart thing to help you move on and enter your next relationship with a healthy mindset and strong boundaries to avoid the pain of another breakup.
Reach out if you need help on your healing journey, a non-biased listening ear can do wonders to help you find clarity in an emotional situation.
With YOUR Success in Mind,