Why Did He Do This to ME?

The gut punch when you find out that your spouse has been stepping out is enough to bring you to your knees with the possibility of never getting up again. But you do, you pick yourself up and you begin to wonder why, why did they do this to me?

First, be thankful that you finally found out. You now know that he has been having an affair, but you kick yourself because it was for longer than he should have before you realized it. He was very good at hiding it, he was excellent at covering his tracks, keeping you in the dark. You should have had a choice, but it is not your fault, you did not know, but the good news is, now you know, and you can take action to gain control of your life once again.

Infidelity, finding out about it can take your breath away.

Once you get your breath back, it is time to wonder why. Yes, you should wonder why. You should know why this happened to you, why your spouse’s poor choices blew up your life.

BECAUSE IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Never is an affair the fault of the betrayed spouse. Even if the marriage was bad, having an affair is a choice.  You were just as unhappy as your spouse, but you did not choose to have an affair, so why is the bad marriage an excuse for them, it was their choice. A serious choice that affects more than the lives of the married couple. There can be many damaged souls because of an affair.

The fallout can hurt not only you but your children and extended family. Also, the affair partner could have a spouse and children of their own who are deeply wounded by the affair, just like your family. Having an affair and betraying those you promised to be loyal to is very damaging to everyone.

Typically, most people who are in an affair are on a self-sabotaging path that was created by unhealed childhood wounds. That is not your fault, there is nothing you did that created his childhood wounds.

People cheat because it makes them feel better, it is a fantasy escape from the everyday dullness of life, and it provides them with the validation that they seek.

A person who is mentally healthy yet unhappy in their marriage will seek counsel to fix the problem or end the marriage and heal before moving on to a new relationship.

If you find yourself in this situation, remember, it is not your fault, but it is now all about you. It is time for you to put all your attention and focus on yourself, and your children if you have them. He is no longer your problem. Let him go knowing that it is not your fault that he cheated.

You can do this; you are beautiful and can have a lovely life.

With YOUR Success in Mind,



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